How to Respond to an Alcoholic Making Amends
How to respond to an alcoholic making amends should be based on their behavior, not yours. Alcoholics need to be able to prove that they are serious about a new lifestyle and that they will not turn back to their previous ways. Face-to-face meetings are preferable, but you can also make amends over a phone call. You can say that you are sober. The main goal of making amends is to acknowledge the wrongdoing and to apologize fully.
Making amends is an important part in the recovery process. It’s also an important step in the healing process. Alcoholics Anonymous provides a detailed guide to make amends. It entails recognizing the wrong that was done and taking steps to make it right. It involves healing relationships that have been damaged by addiction. For this reason, it is very important to respond appropriately. If you have to respond to an alcoholic making amends, it is best to remember that making amends is a process that is difficult on both sides.
For instance, if the alcoholic is apologizing for something he did or said to you, the first thing you should do is accept his apology. You may not be able or able to make amends on your own, but it is an important part the 12-step program. If the alcoholic is being sincere and wants to make amends it’s important that you accept his apology and allow him/her to make amends.
The next step is making direct amends. This involves meeting the person face-to-face, acknowledging the wrongdoing, and making a plan to repair the damage. It is important to remember that this type of amends requires a lot of thought and commitment. To avoid distractions, you may need to make sure that you have a few days notice. Once you’ve scheduled the meeting, you’ll have a better idea of how to respond to an alcoholic making amends.
You must be prepared mentally to accept the sincerity of the alcoholic when they make amends. If you listen to the alcoholic’s apology and understand their feelings, the conversation will be successful. If you are unable to accept the apology, you’ll need to find another way to respond. In the meantime, you can also take the opportunity to express your regret for the past. Be sincere and compassionate if you have regrets about wrongdoing.
Respect the boundaries of the person you are talking to if they don’t want to make amends. Even if they say that they won’t accept your offer, they should still be able to move forward with their recovery and make positive changes in their life. You may be contacted by the person again. If that doesn’t work, then you will need to learn to accept their boundaries.
It is important to take inventory of all the relationships that have been damaged by the alcoholic before they are ready to make amends. During their active addiction, they likely caused people pain – physical and emotional. Often, they’ve hurt family members and friends. Consider the damage done and list the specific ways alcoholism caused it. It is important to be specific when apologizing. Making a list beforehand will help you organize your thoughts.